I pushed the door open and saw him thrusting in and out of Carmen at a punishing pace.

My husband. Having intercourse with someone who wasn't me—on my desk, in my office, at our anniversary party.

The image seared into my mind, blurred by copious tears that wouldn't stop falling. My knees gave way.

Half the party had followed the commotion. Before my parents could stop them, guests surrounded us in a half-circle, watching my husband's now flaccid shaft—protection equipped after being inside someone else—while quite a few caught sight of undressed Carmen, spread eagle on my creative space. The space where I built worlds and gave happily-ever-afters, because I thought mine was the best inspiration.

"I've missed you, wife," he'd said hours earlier. Pecked me. Promised to be better.

Better was screwing someone else on our anniversary.

Better was making me watch.

I pushed away from my brother and threw up in the hallway, in front of everyone.

————————

Brinlee’s POV

Dinner was a disaster. An utter, disaster. I walked out after Conrad barely defended me, barely said two words to me the whole evening! And then he pulled a full-on Dr. Jackal and Mr. Hyde, when his jerk tried to turn it around and practically accused me of being awful to his sister and her friend! The same sister and friend who, for the last almost nine months, had done everything in their power to make me seem like a crazy woman. I couldn’t even feel the snow hitting my legs as I marched to the curb. I pulled my phone out as I flagged down a taxi outside the restaurant.

Friday, 7:24pm

Brinlee: So…I think something in my marriage just broke. Can I come over?

The taxi pulled to a stop in front of me, as I opened the door and gave their address. I wasn’t waiting for a response. I didn’t want to be standing out front of the restaurant waiting for the response, and then waiting for the taxi. That gave them too much time to get to me. And it was too cold for the end of January to be standing outside any longer than necessary. But especially when you spent hours dressing up and trying to look your cutest since this was your first date without the boot or brace making my outfits look weird.

I put time and effort into how I looked tonight. It was his family’s monthly dinner out at a nice restaurant. Their idea of nice was a sit-down style restaurant where they don’t put prices on the women’s menus and have a person in the restrooms to make sure you have everything you need. It was one of those. Very stuffy, very pretentious.

So I played the part. Designer shoes, bag, coat, and clothes. Hair impeccably done, makeup looking like a professional did it. I knew how to clean up, and I knew I looked good doing it. I did not like the price tag that came along with dressing up, so I found timeless pieces, for every season, and rotated those. It was how I stayed so stylish no matter the season, and my sister-in-law hated it.

Thankfully, tonight I chose the wide leg pants, pointed toe flat, because my ankle was still weak after the sprain, and a lovely cashmere sweater, and my wool peacoat.

The taxi drove off. The hum of the engine a comfort, and my thoughts drifted back to my friends.

Even if they weren’t home now, they’d be home soon. And I knew I could stay just until I collected myself enough to be able to think through this. Because, there is no way that the person who sat at that dinner table was my husband. He was not the man I married. He was the exact opposite of his worried and concerned self this afternoon.

Friday, 7:26pm

Anna: Yes. What happened? Do we need to call the brothers?

Sliding down in my seat as the fat snowflakes plopped down the windows, leaving streaks of wet behind, blurring the city before me. I was trying so hard not to burst into tears at how thoughtful she was being. I didn’t know why! His sister had always been a hooker. She’d always been mean and nasty to me. I don’t know if it was the way he brushed it off, or the way she smirked like she knew she could get away with it, even though he’s my husband.

By now, I wasn’t sure if the city looked blurry because of the snowflakes running down the windows or from the tears that I felt forming in my eyes. He’d always stood up for me. Always. It wasn’t huge and fierce every time, but every time, he would tell them to knock it off.

But this time…

Friday, 7:29pm

Brinlee: I don’t know.

I held the tears in as I tried not to think about it. Not until I had friends to think through this with. I knew I would over think it to the point that I would give myself a panic attack. I needed to be calm. I needed to know if I was overreacting, or if something was off. If this was just me overreacting, I didn’t want to bring family into anything.

What do you do?

Friday, 7:35pm

Anna: We’ve got the comfort foods ordered. The emergency romance movie lists. And all the soft things. We’re ready for you girlie.

Why did I have the best friends? I thought as a smile cracked through the hurt. I had the best friends.

.....

Since the night I walked out of Conrad’s family dinner, things have gone downhill in my marriage at an alarming speed. Things went from where we were still cute and cuddly in a mostly blissful state, to where I’m lucky if I see him before I left for work in the morning, or before I closed my eyes when I laid down at night. Looking back on my whole relationship, I wasn’t sure if it was just, things I’d been blind to, or if I had just been dismissing more and more signs as the ‘normal progression of a marriage’, but it was like I was seeing everything as it was. And had been going on for months, much longer than I let myself believe!

If I really looked, I’m sure I could probably find things that suggested it could be even longer than just a few months. I just didn’t know! And I honestly wasn’t sure if I wanted to know! Because the further back I looked, I realized something that made my stomach turn again.

This was his usual behavior. That had only slightly worsened within the last few months. The rose colored glasses were gone, tossed in the trash after being cracked and falling apart. I felt cold, a chill that I couldn’t shake. Now?

Conrad was just, openly leaving the house whenever he wanted without a word most times, his face buried in his phone when he was home. The growing silence and distance between us now felt cavernous.

He started, or maybe continued and I was just now noticing, not answering calls and texts anymore, unless I pestered him with three or more texts or calls. I scrolled back through my texts and saw that I had been doing the majority of the communication for the last two months, at least, and the thought made me want to puke. These were all signs of cheating, emotionally or physically, but most often both.

I’m a betrayal-romance author! I know this! Oh god! I’m the pathetic female lead who doesn’t see the signs!

My thoughts were now spiralling because we’d still be intimate at least three to four times a week, every week since we first got together! And lately, his little fella hadn’t been wearing a raincoat, because, well…I thought we were exclusive and we were married now! I mean, our anniversary was in three days for the sake! I ran my hands through my hair again, then washed them, and went back to stir the sauce.

The door clicking pulled me out of my thoughts. I paused my movements of stirring the sauce and listened. I wasn’t sure if the door had opened or closed, I was so lost in my thoughts. The total silence after the single, gently click, had me on edge. It enveloped me, until I heard his deep voice, angry and muttering something. I didn’t dare to move. It almost felt like if I did, I’d be seen or heard and I wouldn’t get this chance again.

Something inside of me, the little voice in the back of my head, the angel or devil on my shoulder, I wasn’t sure what. But whatever it was, it told me that I wouldn’t get another opportunity like this, that I needed to listen in if I wanted to know what was happening in my marriage.

I held my breath as I strained to listen. I couldn’t make out all of his words, some were too muffled, but I did specifically hear, “Not our arrangement,” and “Just a little hooker”. My eyes grew wide, my breathing hitched, and I moved my hands to cover my mouth. I didn’t want him hearing me. I didn’t want him to know I’d overheard anything that was being said. I wanted to run, to move, but I was frozen to the ground as his voice faded into the background. The last thing I heard him say was that he loved me. His words swarm in my head like crocs following a herd of animals down the shore line.

Easy prey.

Arrangement?! Hooker?! He loved me?! Who was he talking to? What was he saying?! Was he talking to…his mistress?! In my home?!

I stood there with my heart pounding in my chest, my arms feeling tingly. This felt very much like a heart attack, or maybe it was just the final bits of a heart that held on too long, shattering. Finally splintering the rest of the way, destroying any hope of being fixed in this life or the next. The thudding of that non-existent organ was so loud, it was going to swallow me whole. His words repeated…if he had an arrangement…with someone who was just a little hooker…

I ran for the bathroom, the sauce spoon clattering on the floor as everything I’d eaten that day violently lurched inside of me. I tried to cover my mouth until I made it to the bathroom and emptied the contents of my stomach. My body retched over and over, even after everything was out of my system. It was like I couldn’t stop trying to purge it all from my mind, like my body was trying to make sure there was no part of him anywhere near or on me.

I needed to know.

There were only two days until our anniversary now. My doctor’s appointment was the same day. What others would I have to weather before I could be free of him?

I had my ducks in a row though. I was ready if I had to leave him at a moment’s notice. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, and I wasn’t sure I’d be able to until I knew what was going on in my marriage. I was just hoping it wouldn’t hurt too bad. Whatever it was.

....

Until our anniversary.

As my eyes scanned the faces in the room, I only flinched slightly when my eyes found my sister-in-law, Danielle, and her best friend, Carmen, practically attached to Conrad like the leeches they were. I had my suspicions that it could be her, Carmen, the girl he was cheating with. But he had always said she was practically his sister. There was no way that they were…together.

Sighing, I made my way over toward the three of them, a tight smile firmly in place. I reached my arm out, sliding it naturally in his open right arm. His head snapped to mine and relief mixed with guilt clouded his features. He always had that look when his sister was about to get away with breaking another one of my boundaries, or one of his that I asked him to put in place at the beginning of our relationship after a couple incidents with her.

I expressed how I felt each time, that his sister and her friends took too many liberties with him, no matter what it was that they wanted, and he was basically their doormat. I could remember back to a time when I didn’t have to ask him to defend me. The first time his sister was rude to me, he stood up for me, defended me, didn’t let her come around for a while. I never had to ask for it, or give him a look, he just did it. About nine months ago, she finally got him to cave and hear her out.

She’s been around ever since, and her friend is always with her. I think at one point, I thought they were together, but couldn’t openly be together because their parents were very uptight about that, insisting they had a normal family. Until I noticed them trying to cling to Conrad. I was still trying to convince myself that Danielle and Carmen could be together, that’s what I was telling myself, because the pit that had started forming in my stomach was telling me differently. I didn’t know what, because nothing had changed.

Except for them.

Conrad followed as Carmen and Danielle pulled him off to another part of the house. I was about to go after them when my brothers stepped in front of me, smiles on their faces as they presented me with hugs and a small gift bag.

“It’s your anniversary gift,” Bridger said, Brighton nodding beside him. They were stoic, but when it was us, they let their goofiness out. They wrapped their arms around me in a group hug. I thanked them, and moved to put the bag down on the gift table, before quietly making my way down the hall I had seen Carmen and Danielle pulling Conrad down.

As I walked along the hall, I heard noises. The noises sounded frantic. It sounded like pens and pencils had clattered onto the floor, and then there were papers being shuffled around. I slowed my pace as I listened closer, trying to pinpoint exactly what I was hearing. I strained my ears to listen, but once I heard it, I knew what it was. It was the sounds of labored breathing and whispers, and they were getting louder, the closer I walked down the hall. My eyes locked on the doors further down the hallway. Only two were open. One was the guest bath, and the light was off, so I didn’t think that was it. The second door…was to my office.

I could see the light from my desk shining from the slightly opened door. My heart sank. The more I listened, the more familiar it sounded.

He wouldn’t, I felt my heart pleading with my brain to lie to it one more time.

I slowly, quietly, crept forward, straight to my heart’s impending doom which lay right behind the door. My hand was shaking as I reached out and pushed the door open, just as quietly. Tears had already filled my eyes, but once I saw what was going on inside the room, pain erupted from my chest. All encompassing, heartache. I stumbled, gripping the door jam to stay on my feet. I knew from the pain coursing through what felt like every nerve ending in my body, without a doubt, that I had loved him with everything in me.

Until two seconds ago…

Until I pushed the door open and saw him thrusting in and out of Carmen at a punishing pace. I felt numb. My grip on the door jam slipped and I stumbled, falling back into the wall across from the door, barely standing.